| my turn to cry. |
[Sep. 5th, 2006|06:50 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  lonely | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Apologize-One Repulbic | ] |
i kwo i heaven't been on latly i am sorry. europe was great and now i am back just in time for school (sady) and i am in alittle missy pissy sissy cryie mood, (didnt think it was possible? well... it is!) ahha i just wrote this. enjoy.
She sits there and wastes her time on a boy who she once felt was the only one who gave her attention.
Her heart beats she blushes she just can’t hide how feels about him, she’s staduring on words she’s just so in love with someone who seems to care more about his hair or how slim and fake a girl could possible be. If she could go back in time or change something it wont be of meeting him but of him just caring. She’s crying at this point and just would love to scream out I am not perfect but I could be for you if only you had the time. Her friends support her and tell her that she could make it with out him , and that he’s a dirty creep “you could do better” they tell her. She just looks at them and says you don’t see what I do, you will never know how it feels. |
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| good night and good luck |
[Aug. 19th, 2006|06:51 pm] |
WOOOHOO i am back!!! it was a long 24 hour trip but it feels darn good to be here. actually to be quite frank it was a long horrible 24 hour trip. might i add that i got body checked by this odd brussel woman slash man looking thing. She put her thumbs along teh inside of my pants (VERY FRIGHTNING) and touched teh wiring along my bra, if it had only been the french hot speaking man that was standing beside her when i had first headed out of that metal detactor. All in all europe was amazing. My first great intoxiction of honey tasting wine (i didnt really think you could get so drunk off of wine.)My cousins boyfriend who i might add is almost 30 was predening to fly i was wobbling 5 in teh moring around town and was dancing around a table which is incrediable unimagnable. i am sick to my stomache when i think about it.
The sea was beautiful asusal with good looking forgeniers! matini night was every night..yummm.
Sat beside my future husband (hes not aware of it yet.) Got the WORST sun burn on my thighs...(grrr stupid dark mexcians)
i had traveled to budapest and slovenia didnt shop to much but i buoght running shoes that spell croatia across teh side WICKED STUFF. i am at teh vere of a major cold and ear investion and in teh last 48 hours i have only slept 7 and half, we have guests over and it really rude of me to be on this computer but i feel so comfortable in this chair (i am pretty sure it has molded to my butt.) alrighty as stupid as this entry has been i am trying to get use to teh lettering of this key board (everything is wierd) good night and good luck?
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| chapter one, dance puppet dance |
[May. 10th, 2006|09:29 pm] |
Chapter 1. Dance puppet dance
Closing the door behind me as I rushed into the bathroom of a public mall. I quickly ran my fingers over my overly bruised scars and grabbed the razor from the side pocket of my one shouldered knapsack. I ran the razor across my arm with the fresh blood slowly dripping down into the un-washed toilet. The sound of the skin tearing for fills everything. A minute in a different emotion. That one minute that I could think straight, that one minute that no drug could replace that one-minute where there was a story behind this un-sold face.
Dear Maria this is for you, dear Maria your going to burn in hell, dear Maria fuck you and you’re fucking with peoples lives.
I screeched in pain and took to the toilet paper that was now officially drowning in blood and wrapped my arm in it. I sat down on the toilet and cried, “why me, why this”
I am only 15 and I shouldn’t be dealing with this. My life is a movie for all those thirsty animals out there. I took the bloody paper from my arm and flushed I grabbed some more and wrapped it around my arm extra tight and pulled down my long sleeves. “brush yourself off, Kat and fake a smile, fake a smile so that those people won’t judge, just fake a smile” I walked out the door and saw those peoples beaming eyes at me I ignored all of them and washed my hands pretending my life was normal, everything was normal… but I am far from normal. As I was walking through the mall I noticed a group of girls, perky short-skirted blondes to be precised. Holy Jesus its Maria, I think my worst nightmare has just begun.
Maybe if I walk around this shelf and around that stand then …
“KAT! KAT! KATIE!!!!” she yelled and yelled
Honestly that name makes me cringe.
“Kat I am talking to you.”
“Oh sorry it’s just that the colors from your shirt blended in with the sign behind you that says dirty bitch on the loose.”
“Kat why are you so mean, god. Did you prepare for our project?”
“No princess, it must have slipped my mind just like how it slipped your mind that the face you were sucking was my boyfriends, oh and with the work you put into the project its considered mine.”
“You know what Katie homes Jones! Don’t be jealous that I am hot be jealous that your boyfriend thinks so.”
“Oh Christ Maria could you have not thought of something original, more or less along the lines of chocking and dying.”
“Kat if I was you, I would shut up and watch this queen wrap your boyfriend around my finger.”
“Here’s a finger… FUCK YOU!”
“She you hell, perk!”
Not saying that I am going hell, but odds are.
I walked away like mofia member, slick and smooth.
Ha. Bitch please.
my story HAHA i hope it turns out well |
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| still in love |
[May. 10th, 2006|08:32 pm] |
you like him so much and you don't want to adivertise it, honetsly i think he feels the same way about you.. just tell him , you'll regreat it. Your scared and nervous just tell him, you'll regreat it |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 1st, 2006|04:34 pm] |
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I am sooooooooooo MAD! first off i offically can not stand my mothers friend , i try and try to be nice but its gotten to teh point where i cried. Shes killing me and if she wansn't soo god damn rude and if her bloody son had so much of some manners in the returant... AHHHH and then she told me not to come next time because i was tired. _ _ _ _ _! and then daniela told me today that she isn't gping to come out with me this weekend! i am sooooooooooooooooooooooooo mad becaus ei waited so long to go out with her and she always cancels ALWAYS that or she is constantly sick or if we do go out alex is there, i don't mind alex but i don't feel as comfrtable talking to her. Jesus! i am so mad becaus ei was so excited and then my mother just told em taht i was leaving to euorope on june 26th exactly teh day my exams end.. which means i can't spend any tiem with my friends ! gahhhh this is horrible |
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| its your day to shine |
[Apr. 8th, 2006|08:46 pm] |
Its the same day lol and i tottally forgot to mention my sisters wedding. IT WAS SO GREAT. and to addd i think i looked pretty spifiy , i was so ashlee simpson totay well with teh extra 40 pounds ahha:D well i have some drama back in my life. 'I got him and now hes staying! lol yepp yepp yepp :D:D:D:D:D: ohh and to mention i am off to teh lovely croatia this summer YAY! ahhaah with teh lovely cousins and there good looking familes, god damn those loaded / drooling man in europe ..ahhhhhh ahhha okay well i am going to go watch tv with my daddy.
cheers!
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| Fcuk you |
[Apr. 8th, 2006|06:38 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  satisfied | ] |
| [ | music |
| | The Widow, Mars Volta | ] |
She may be lovely, thin and nice but she has problems that need some advice,
shes so dumb but cute , shes stuck in a lie and doesn't know what to do.
She cries and cries , yet the role she plays dooesn't get much pay,
she has everyones attention, and just watch her throw it all away.
She'll be screwed some day and we will all scream hooray!
You deserve every bit that we all suffered, and good luck when you die because your life is so missrable.
-Amy Slivaric |
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| lallala in the back seat |
[Apr. 4th, 2006|09:23 pm] |
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Why is it that the longer your way from someone the more you love them. I got you back and now your worth nothing. its sad , honetsly. |
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| FUN FUN FUN |
[Apr. 1st, 2006|10:52 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | happy | ] |
TODAY WAS SOOO FUNN tehheheh i went out with an old tiem friend since childhood (cousin) teehhe and it was fun. i wasn't to sure how it would go knowing that i heaven't seen her in a long while but it was great! we went downtown and had coffee and just caught up on what we had missed out in 5 or 6 years! lol it was great. Its nice to have spent time with someone taht you heaven't seen in for ever. well i am of to the oh so comfy bed. CHIAO for now! |
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| what a waste |
[Mar. 28th, 2006|09:19 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  confused | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Breathe, Anna Nalick | ] |
WEll hello public readers! i just got back form shopping, the second pair of shoes this months, the second bag this month and my shopping addiction has just gotten worse. Well knowing it's my parents buyng me the stuff i should be greatful but i am upset. Is it mayeb that when i spend time with my mommy, she buys me something for all the times shes not home? or is it that i go to the gym and maybe i'll be the perfect looking daughter? and my dad does he buy me things so i spend tiem with him or that he feels bad? jesus no one is perfect and its funny how you can tell it on some people and others its hidden away. Well i think i am going to go teh bed and shoot myself becaus ei have an ISU due thursday an didin't start..fcuk |
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| again... |
[Mar. 19th, 2006|09:48 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | amused | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Edwin McCain , I'll be | ] |
I'll make you love me |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 17th, 2006|10:22 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | cheerful | ] |
| [ | music |
| | James Blunt, Your beautiful | ] |
Today was spent with the lovely ladies maxine and lisa. TEHEHE scarbourough is not really a safe place to be walk in the dark even if it is six o'clock lol. I have been to the same mall every day this week (SAD) and i just noticed ice cream man yummm ice cream man lol so much for starbucks man, i am pretty sure he doesn't work there anymore (so much for a having a future filled with free lattes.)I can't beliv emarch break if over, it flew by, extremly upsetting..espically becuase i have a project due, OH NO I FORGOT! my sister is getting married soooo sooon!:D:D:D:D::D:D:D:D so excited. alrighty fair well and goodnight!:P
I thought about you 4 times today,
I wish i could say i love you 3 times today,
I considered calling you 2 times today,
I relized that your 1 in a million
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 13th, 2006|03:04 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | depressed | ] |
Your what could have been your what i wanted it to have been. Now it's to late and i miss you so much i wish you would look at me the way you use to i wish you could hug me the way you did, i wish you where here. I heaven't smiled in a year because i am waiting for you. and i will keep waiting till i see your face. |
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| can't die |
[Mar. 10th, 2006|09:19 pm] |
the bird flu is coming in 6 to 12 months... I AM TO YOUNG TO DIE i still need to become famous and marry marko and have kids with marko and eat chicken god damnit! what is the world coming to ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh i am losing my mind |
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| Your mom thinks i am ugly... |
[Mar. 3rd, 2006|10:11 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | cheerful | ] |
Well hello hello, as this being my first time lets re-cap aliitle of my life! okay well my sister is gettiing married soon and on monday i swore to myself that i would stick to my diet of water, and cottage chesse. I feel as though everyone has something happing in there lives and i am the only one with no drama grrr.I have a massive crush on someone that is my little secret.. (well aside from everyone on live journal..)I plan on going to Crotia this summer and actually get the chance to speak to marko, that gaining of courage that i just can't seem to pull togther. You wait marko i will lose 30 pounds and then i will be the shit:D well knowing that theres aboustly no point to this i am just going to leave you with money can buy you happiness and that singer why wrote is an idoit!
well love you like a i love cake(<-- get it ahaha)
Amy your one and truly |
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